


Things Unsaid

by ReginaNocis



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Beverly Marsh is a Good Friend, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Gay Disaster Richie Tozier, Idiots in Love, M/M, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Stan Uris Lives, boys being dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26805664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReginaNocis/pseuds/ReginaNocis
Summary: “You already know what I’m going to say to you. It hasn’t changed since that day under the bleachers. I was right then, and I’m right now,” Bev told him. He could hear her typing on a computer and knew she must be in her office.“You’ve always been right. That doesn’t mean I’ve been ready to listen,” Richie replied softly. “I can’t tell him, Bevvie. I know it’s hurting me, but telling him would hurt him more. He’s happily married, and I’m…”“If you finish that with anything disparaging, I will fly over there and castrate you myself,” she told him. He could hear the smile in her voice.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 93





	Things Unsaid

“If I have to hear one more word!” The threat wasn’t completed, because bodily harm was heavily implied. “Look, if you’re still that in love, just tell him.”

“Stanley, it’s like you don’t understand me at all!” Richie wailed, flopping back down onto his bed dramatically. The phone dislodged from his ear for approximately two seconds, but it was long enough to miss the first word of Stan’s reply. This was the third time they’d had this conversation in as many weeks, though, so Richie had a good idea of what he’d be saying.

“-Went through this when we were teenagers, Rich. You didn’t tell him then, but you should tell him now,” Stan shot back. They’d all finally regained every lost memory, and Stan was incredibly fond of throwing the fact that he’d been a big baby when they were teenagers back in his face every chance he got.

“It’s not that easy,” Richie huffed. “He’s straight and married, and it would just make everything awkward. Face it, Stan, I never had a chance to miss.”

“You’re both idiots,” Stan sighed. Then he hung up on him.

“Damn,” Richie muttered, scowling. Instead of trying to call Stan back, he opened his text conversation with Eddie. Just because he couldn’t tell him how he felt didn’t mean he couldn’t talk to him. He was a glutton for pain.

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (3:59pm)_

_Hey Eds, wanna video chat?_

_To: Trashmouth (4:06pm)_

_Sorry, I’m in a meeting for a couple more hours. I can talk like this, though. Nobody is paying attention to me._

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (4:07pm)_

_Boring work shit?_

_To: Trashmouth (4:09pm)_

_I guess you could say that._

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (4:11pm)_

_Anything I can do to entertain you?_

_To: Trashmouth (4:14pm)_

_Nah, I’m supposed to be paying attention. It could be important. I’ll call you later?_

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (4:19pm)_

_Yeah, sure. I’ve got nothing going on._

And just like that, Richie had nothing to do. He knew from experience that once Stan had hung up on him, he wouldn’t answer the phone again for a few hours. Bill was busy with his latest movie, and definitely did not have time to humor him. Mike was god-knows-where, and Ben had his own company to run. That really only left…

_“Bev! My favorite girl in the whole world!” Richie exclaimed, flinging his arms around her dramatically. She humored him, even going so far as to laugh._

_“Richie, I’m the only girl who will give you the time of day. I assume you’re out of smokes?” Bev asked, patting his back in an attempt to get him to let go. He refused, even going so far as to cling tighter._

_“I’m offended that you think that’s all I want from you,” Richie huffed, but he was smiling._

_“Honey, it’s not like you’d want anything else from me,” she pointed out. She said it gently, but it still made Richie wince. He wasn’t exactly out of the closet, and they both knew the citizens of Derry would not take kindly to a gay 16-year-old boy in their midst. She lowered her voice when she spoke next. “If it’s not something to smoke, do you just want to go somewhere quiet to talk?”_

_Bev always had time to listen to him moan on about his love for Eddie. She was not as impatient as Stan, or as easily annoyed as Eddie himself. (Not that he ever gave Eddie any details. He just bemoaned the fact that he was single.) She was, however, exasperated by how stubborn he was in insisting he couldn’t tell Eddie._

_“Have you thought any more about at least telling him you’re gay?” she asked once they were situated under the bleachers. The rest of the students were safely in their third period classes, so it was okay to talk plainly._

_“If I told him, it would change everything. Even if I don’t tell him about my feelings for him, he’d always be wondering. I don’t want to ruin what we have,” Richie replied._

_“You can’t possibly know that’s how he’d react. I was supportive. Hell, even Stanley was supportive, and you know all about the stick up his ass!” Bev shot back._

_“Yeah, but that’s because he’s got the same kinda feelings for Bill that I do for Eddie,” Richie shot back. Bev choked on her next inhale, coughing out the smoke painfully._

_“Richie! You can’t drop bombs like that while I’m smoking!” She smacked his arm as hard as she could, which actually made him wince. He was pretty sure it was going to leave a bruise, actually. “How do you know? Did he tell you?”_

_“Spend five minutes watching them at lunch, Bevvie. I promise you’ll see it, too,” Richie told her. “It’s impossible to miss. But Stan won’t say anything because he knows I’m going to hold it over his head. And Bill is probably too worried about being a good son.”_

_“Because being gay is the worst thing he could possibly be,” Bev scoffed._

_“Exactly,” Richie agreed. He knew she was being sarcastic, but… the entire town of Derry actually believed what she’d said. He’d heard it so often from his own parents that he just knew he couldn’t risk coming out of the closet until he was long gone._

_“Richie,” Bev admonished. “Don’t you dare try to tell me that you’re an awful person, or that you don’t deserve love because you’re gay. It’s not even close to true. None of us would ever tell you that. None of us believe it! Least of all Eddie.”_

_“You don’t know that,” Richie sighed. “You can only speak for you.”_

_“Richie Tozier, you listen to me!” Bev had that angry glint in her eyes that meant pain if he disobeyed, the same one that his mother sometimes had. At least with Bev, he knew she’d never really hurt him. “Can you for one second imagine Ben hating you for who you love? Ben, the kindest boy in town? Or Mike, for that matter. Mike is literal sunshine, and has endured plenty of hatred himself, but you think he’d hate you for something you can’t control?”_

_“Yeah, but-“ Richie started._

_“I’m not done!” Bev snapped. “What about Bill? He’s been an outcast since he was little because of his stutter, but you think he’d reject you for this? One of his best- and only- friends? And Stan is literally your best friend! You have actually told him, and he didn’t push you away!”_

_“No, but-“ Richie tried._

_“And I wouldn’t be sitting here beside you, sharing my precious cigarettes, if I cared at all about who you love or don’t love! In the face of all of that, can you really believe that Eddie would turn his back on you?” Bev demanded. “He’s just as desperate for love and friendship as the rest of us. Bowers literally tortures him because of his medications, and nobody else will talk to him for fear of retribution. He’s only got us.”_

_“He could do so much better than a fag,” Richie muttered. It took him a few moments to register the sting from the hit that Bev delivered across his arm. He’d never seen her looking so angry before in his life._

_“If you **ever** use that word to describe yourself again, I will not hesitate to tell the others. Richie, you are so loved. You are **not** a monster because of who you love. I know what you’ve been told, Rich. We’ve all been told the same thing. But that doesn’t make any of it true. Not to the people who really matter. Who do you think matters most?” Bev demanded. Her voice got softer at the end, as if she just wanted him to understand._

_“You do. Of course you all do,” Richie whispered, tears fogging up his glasses. Bev pulled them off gently and wiped the tears away from him._

_“Finally. I’ve been waiting for you to get that through your thick head for a year now,” she told him softly. “Please, consider telling all of us. You don’t have to tell Eddie how you feel, just… give us the chance to react the right way.”_

_“I’ll think about it,” Richie promised._

“Richie? You don’t usually call in the middle of the day,” Bev said in place of a standard phone greeting. Then she sighed. “Stan finally hung up on you?”

“How’d you guess?” Richie asked miserably.

“You already know what I’m going to say to you. It hasn’t changed since that day under the bleachers. I was right then, and I’m right now,” Bev told him. He could hear her typing on a computer and knew she must be in her office.

“You’ve always been right. That doesn’t mean I’ve been ready to listen,” Richie replied softly. “I can’t tell him, Bevvie. I know it’s hurting me, but telling him would hurt him more. He’s happily married, and I’m…”

“If you finish that with anything disparaging, I will fly over there and castrate you myself,” she told him. He could hear the smile in her voice. “When is the last time you spoke to Eddie about his marriage, or any aspect of his personal life?”

“I just got done texting him,” Richie said quickly.

“Nope, doesn’t count. I know for a fact you didn’t ask him anything personal over text,” she shot back. “Look, you’re flying out here this week, right? I haven’t told Ben or Eddie, but I need you to confirm it so I can discreetly set up our guest room.”

The change in subject was a surprise, but one that Richie could work with. “Yeah, I booked my flight last night. I land Wednesday at noon,” Richie told her.

“Great! Which means by three, you’ll be ready to see everyone. And I swear to god, Richie, if you haven’t told him by the end of his birthday, Stan and I _will._ ”

“That seems harsh,” Richie frowned, rubbing the back of his head. “Shouldn’t it be my own decision to come out?”

“You’ve had decades, Rich. At this point, for your own health, you _need_ to come out. Even if it’s just to our little group. I promise you that you’ll feel better for it. And if it somehow goes wrong, you can blame me for the rest of your life,” Bev told him.

“As if I need your permission for that,” Richie snorted. “ _Fine.”_

Bev squealed in excitement, and Richie could hear something falling over. It was likely that she’d thrown her hand up in excitement and had knocked something off of her desk.

“I promise you won’t regret it. Now let me get back to work, Loser!” She replied. She didn’t wait for an answer before she hung up on him.

He sat around for another half hour before he sighed and got to packing. If he was flying out to see everyone (especially Eddie), he wanted to look like he actually cared. It had been a while since he’d made an effort on his appearance. Halfway through folding clothes and getting laundry ready, his phone rang. Eddie’s contact picture flashed across his screen, and he grinned.

“Eds! Just the man I was hoping to talk to,” Richie greeted him, putting the call on speaker so he could keep working.

“You knew I was going to call you. And don’t call me that, Asshole,” Eddie shot back instantly.

“You wound me,” Richie sighed.

“Uh huh. What did you want to talk about?” Eddie asked. Richie wasn’t prepared for the abrupt seriousness, but he’d always been good at rolling with things. Bev’s words from earlier ran through his head and he frowned.

“How have you been, Eddie? How’s your wife? Your job?” He asked, leaning against his dresser. He couldn’t concentrate on clothes through this conversation.

“My- you want to know about my wife?” Eddie asked. His confusion and obvious suspicion would have been funny if Richie wasn’t quite so nervous.

“I want to know about your _life_ ,” he corrected. “We talk all the time, but not about anything serious. For example, did you know I just finished writing my own show for the first time in my life? You guys inspired me.”

“That would be amazing if I wasn’t completely sure that by inspired you mean we gave you enough material for a show in which you’re going to roast us all,” Eddie chuckled.

“Spoilers,” Richie sang, grinning. “And now it’s your turn.”

“I left my wife,” Eddie told him calmly. “Months ago, actually. We were horrible for each other, as you well know. I just… woke up one morning and realized that she wasn’t what I wanted, and it was time to make the necessary changes to get what I _do_ want.”

Richie’s throat felt very dry all of a sudden. He hadn’t heard Eddie be so serious since they’d gone back to Derry, and even then it was mostly his fear talking. He wasn’t sure what to do with that information, but he knew he had to reply.

“And what is it you want, Eds?” He asked softly. If he’d expected more seriousness, he was disappointed.

“For you to stop calling me that,” Eddie replied immediately.

“Tough luck,” Richie told him. He hesitated for a moment before deciding to share something just as big with Eddie. “I want to tell you something, but I need you to promise me that it won’t change anything. Also that you won’t tell _anyone_ , not even another Loser.”

“Rich, are you okay? You’re not dying, right?” The immediate concern in Eddie’s voice was reassuring. He took a deep breath, then jumped.

“I’m gay,” he said softly. “And I’ve said it out loud maybe three times in my entire life. The whole thing scares me, Eddie. But it’s an important part of my life, and I hate hiding things from you.”

There was silence for a few extra seconds, and Richie was about to hang up the phone in panic when Eddie finally replied. “Rich, you have to know that I could never hate you for this. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”

“It- of course, Eds,” Richie replied automatically. He felt both relieved and numb. Eddie hadn’t shunned him. He hadn’t reacted badly _at all_.

“Listen, I… there are some things I want to tell you, too. But I’m waiting to do it in person, okay? So we’ve gotta find the time to get together _soon_ ,” Eddie told him softly. It made Richie relax. If Eddie wanted to see him in person, then everything was fine.

“I can make that happen. Give me a couple weeks?” He replied. He wasn’t about to give away his surprise.

“Of course,” Eddie told him. “I’ve gotta go, okay? I’ve got a meeting with my lawyer.”

“Yeah, sure. Text me later,” Richie replied. He was still smiling and practically boneless with relief. He didn’t bother going back to his clothes when the call disconnected. Instead, he grabbed his phone and headed for his back porch to call Stan.

_“Look, I know I said I’d be supportive when you told me you were gay, but I didn’t realize that meant having to listen to you going on and ON about Eddie for the rest of my life,” Stan groaned. “Why can’t you be normal and crush on celebrities like everyone else?”_

_“Because none of them have Eddie’s eyes!” Richie sighed. Stan rolled his eyes but didn’t complain again._

_“If you’d just tell him-“ Stan started, but Richie was already shaking his head._

_“No way! He’d never speak to me again,” Richie replied. “I love him, but I can’t tell him. I can’t bear the thought of losing him.”_

_“Why are you so sure you’d lose him? If it was me you were so in love with, I’d be flattered,” Stan informed him._

_“Why, Staniel! I had no clue you felt that way about me!” Richie gasped dramatically, clutching a hand to his heart. He very nearly laughed out loud when Stan rolled his eyes hard enough to give himself a headache._

_“You know what I meant, Trashmouth,” Stan scowled._

_“Yeah,” Richie said softly. “But in all of the time we’ve known him, have you ever seen him have a small reaction to something? Just last week he was talking about something his mother told him about aids. If I even just tell him that I’m gay, he’ll probably shun me because I’m diseased.”_

_“He wouldn’t do that,” Stan protested, but he no longer sounded certain._

_“He would. When Bill had the flu, he boycotted all of us for three weeks. He’d only talk to me over the phone or through a window,” Richie reminded Stan._

_“Okay, fine. But just… think about it. This is YOU, Richie. I truly don’t believe he’d kick you to the curb for this,” Stan said softly._

“I told Eddie,” Richie said as soon as Stan answered the phone.

“You- good for you!” Stan exclaimed. Richie could hear the smile in his voice. “What did he say?”

“Well… so I didn’t tell him that I’m in love with him,” Richie admitted. “Just that I’m… gay. And he was really nice about it. Thanked me for trusting him enough to tell him.”

“You know what, I’m proud of you for even telling him that much. Does this mean you’re going to tell everyone else?” Stan asked.

“Yeah, when I see you all this week. You’re still coming, right? I know Bill was buying his ticket today,” Richie answered.

“I’m driving up on Wednesday. I figured I’d probably just meet you at the hotel. We should get there at about the same time,” Stan told him. “Eddie’s going to be shocked, as long as Bev can keep the secret.”

“She’s got this,” Richie promised.

“I believe it. She’s just as invested as I am,” Stan agreed.

“What?” Richie frowned, confused.

“Richie, you spent our entire childhood venting to the two of us about your feelings for Eddie. Do you really think we didn’t talk to each other about it?” Stan asked.

“Well _now_ I’m thinking about it. Did you really?” Richie replied. His cheeks were flaming red, he was sure.

“Of course we did. We never told anyone else, but we definitely discussed it between ourselves. You’re not mad, are you?” Stan answered, sounding worried.

Richie thought about it before he answered. As much as he wanted to be upset, he found that he couldn’t be. He knew he was a lot for one person to handle. “No, I’m not upset.”

“Good,” Stan sighed, relieved. “Listen, we should both get to packing. I’ll see you later this week.”

“I’ll see you then, Stan the Man,” Richie agreed.

The airport was overly crowded when he arrived in New York. Bill’s flight had been two hours ahead of his, so the plan was for him to meet up with Bill and Stan at the hotel. Mike would be there sometime that night. And once everyone was settled at the hotel, Bev was going to come retrieve Richie and take him back to the place she shared with Ben, to finally let him in on the secret. And Beverly had set up a lunch date with Eddie at their place the following day, to celebrate his birthday- in which he would be surprised by the presence of the entire Loser’s Club.

Somehow, they’d all managed to keep this a secret from both Eddie and Ben. (Ben was incapable of keeping a secret, and therefore could not be included until the last possible minute. They’d nominated Richie to tell him, because for some reason Ben could not stay upset with Richie.) None of them could wait to see the look on Eddie’s face, least of all Richie himself. He also couldn’t keep from talking to Eddie, even though they’d all promised.

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (12:29pm)_

_What’re you up to?_

_To: Trashmouth (12:30pm)_

_I literally just got home. So nothing. You?_

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (12:30pm)_

_Traffic is a bitch, so I’m waiting to be able to make it home myself._

(It wasn’t a lie; the Losers were more of a home to him than his house in LA would ever be.)

_To: Trashmouth (12:32pm)_

_I swear to god, if you’re texting and driving I will KILL YOU._

_To: Trashmouth (12:32pm)_

_Not that I’d need to. Another driver would do it for me._

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (12:35pm)_

_I’m in an Uber, Eds. Not driving. But your faith in me is amazing._

_To: Trashmouth (12:35pm)_

_Can you blame me for thinking that?_

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (12:37pm)_

_You know, I wish that I could._

He was grinning at his phone when he reached the hotel, and that was how Stan found him when he climbed out of his own car. Richie didn’t even notice him until he was patting his arm with an exaggerated look of annoyance.

“I thought we all promised not to bother Eddie today?” Stan asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I remember no such thing,” Richie tried. Stan was unconvinced.

“Just don’t let the others catch you. Your feelings would be obvious,” Stan warned him. Richie took the warning to heart and put his phone away quickly. Eddie would assume he’d gotten distracted- it had happened before.

Richie pulled Stan into a tight hug, which was allowed to go on for far longer than Stan was usually comfortable with. It just showed how much Stan had missed him, too. When they parted, they were both grinning widely. Richie made a big show of grabbing Stan’s bag and lugging both of their bags inside as Stan followed and protested the whole way. It was an old banter that they fell into easily. Bill was waiting for them outside of the elevator.

“You guys took your time,” he told them, grinning. Stan wasn’t fast enough to dodge the hug Bill attacked him with, and Richie had to bite back his laughter. Stan shot him a glare over Bill’s shoulder, but it was far less menacing due to the pink dusting his cheeks. It seemed those feelings hadn’t gone away, either.

“Blame New York traffic. I much prefer LA,” Richie shot back. He accepted his own hug gracefully, sticking his tongue out at Stan. “I hope Mike doesn’t have too much trouble with it later.”

“Mike is already here,” Bill informed them, grinning when they both perked up. “He’s in the shower. We’ve been waiting for the two of you for almost an hour now. He beat me here.”

“Well, someone was eager,” Richie laughed. “You’re not even meeting the others until tomorrow.”

“If you really think our plan is going to go the way we set it up, you’re stupid,” Stan told him dryly. Almost as if on cue, Richie’s phone started to ring. Bev’s contact picture flashed across when he went to answer it, making them all smile. It had been taken when she and Ben had flown out to watch one of Richie’s sold out shows on his comeback tour. They’d gone out for drinks afterwards and Bev had stolen his phone to take a selfie- except it had gone off before she was ready. The picture featured a heavily intoxicated Beverly laughing with her eyes scrunched shut. She’d forgotten to delete it when she’d handed his phone back, and it had instantly become his favorite photo.

“Bevvie, we were just talking about you!” Richie exclaimed as he answered, shooting a wink at Stan and Bill. They both rolled their eyes fondly.

“Rich!” a voice that was decidedly not Bev’s answered. “I need you to settle an argument for me.”

“Eds? Why do you have Bev’s phone?” he asked, frowning. “Shouldn’t you be at home?”

“She’s about to drive me there, that’s not important. You’re on speaker, and I need you to tell her that I’m your best friend,” Eddie replied quickly. Richie could hear Bev giggling in the background.

“Are you guys drunk?” he asked, resisting the urge to laugh with Bev. It would only anger Eddie.

“Just answer the question! Tell him I’m your best friend,” Bev cut in. They’d definitely been drinking. He could only hope that Ben would be responsible and get Eddie home safely.

“I regret to inform you that neither of you fit that category,” Richie told them both, holding up a finger when Bill looked like he was going to say something. “Bev is my best smoking buddy, and Eddie is… my Eds. But Staniel has always been my best friend.”

“What? But!” Eddie squawked indignantly.

“That’s just the way it’s always been, Eds,” Richie told him gently. “I love you all equally, you know that. It’s just a title.”

Richie had to bite his tongue to keep from adding that Eddie owned many other titles in his heart. The love of his life, his absolute favorite person, and best person he’s ever known- to name a few. But to say that now wouldn’t help anyone. If he was going to confess, it would be something private, where only Eddie could be there to witness his humiliation when he was rejected.

“I can’t believe you couldn’t humor me this one time,” Eddie grumbled, sounding very put out. “Now I have to stop drinking.” At that, Richie couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore.

“Let Bev get you home so you can sleep it off, okay? You can text me if you want, and I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon. I’ll find some way to make it up to you,” Richie promised. “Now, give Bev her phone back and drink some water.”

“Fine. Bye, Rich,” Eddie sighed. There was some background noise as Eddie apparently listened for once and did as he was told, then Bev’s voice was much clearer in his ear.

“You’re not on speaker anymore. I haven’t actually been drinking, so I’m going to drive him home and then continue on as planned. Are you guys all ready?” she asked, talking much quieter than he was used to.

“Yeah. Mike is here early and everything. My room is 211, so you can come right up. I’ll just be waiting around for you. You can say hi to everyone, and then we can go break the news to Ben,” Richie replied.

“Perfect. Let me just drive him home, and I’ll text you when I’m on my way. I can’t wait for this!” Bev told him, her voice just a little more high pitched in her excitement. Richie could hear the quiet murmur of Eddie’s voice in the background, and Bev’s quick inhale that indicated her thinking up an excuse. “Ben and I are going to fly out to another of his shows in a couple months. Rich and I were just discussing it while I was waiting for you.” There was more quiet murmuring that Richie couldn’t quite make out. “Oh, yeah, sure. I bet he’d love that. I’ll see about getting another ticket.”

“Tell him I’ve got seats permanently reserved for any Loser who wants to show up. Literally every show has six reserved seats in the front row,” Richie told her, completely serious. “My manager hates me for it.”

“Wait, for real?” Bev asked. The question was echoed by Stan, much to Richie’s amusement.

“Well, yeah. You guys are my family. If you want to come see me, I’m not going to let you have mediocre seats like normal fans,” he replied. For once, there was no joke.

“Oh, Richie,” Bev said gently. He could hear the tears in her voice, though he wasn’t sure why he’d be crying. “You’re our family, too. I wish you’d told me sooner. I would’ve been coming to every show I could sneak away for.”

“Don’t go out of your way for it, Bevvie. They’re always there; it’s really not a big deal,” he replied, embarrassed. Bill laid a hand on his arm with a gentle smile. “Now, get Eddie home so I can hug you.”

“Sir, yes sir,” she laughed. The line went dead as Richie heard Eddie start to question her about why she seemed upset.

“Well, that was… interesting,” Richie sighed. “I don’t know why he was drinking, but Bev is taking him home now. She’s going to text me when she’s on the way here.”

“And you’re going to tell him tomorrow, right?” Stan asked softly, giving Richie the _look_. Richie rolled his eyes. “Come on, you’re so close.”

“Close to what?” Bill asked, looking between them. Richie gave Stan an angry look before turning his attention to Bill.

“Well, as it turns out, I’m gay,” Richie said calmly. Inside, he felt anything but calm. “And I’ve been in love with Eddie since we were tiny children. I finally told him I’m gay the other day, and Stan has been trying to get me to tell him how I feel since we were teenagers.”

“Oh, are we talking about that now?” Mike asked from behind them. Richie could feel his face heating up in humiliation, and Stan instantly cut in.

“No. We are not. We are letting our friend tell us about himself, and then we are letting it go,” Stan told them firmly. He put an arm around Richie in support, and he knew without looking that both Bill and Mike were getting glared at.

“It’s okay, Stan,” Richie told him softly. “We can talk about it. I’ve been holding it in for so long that maybe it won’t hurt.”

“Oh, Richie,” Bill said softly. He moved in for a hug before Stan could react, but Richie returned it instantly. He needed the contact to reassure himself that everything would be okay. Mike joined the hug seconds later, and then Stan was there, too. They had to look weird, hugging in the hallway like this, but none of them cared.

“Shall we move this to a room?” Mike asked after a few seconds. Richie laughed, pulling out of the hug.

“Yeah. Can it be mine? That’s where I told Bev to go,” he replied. And just like that things were back to normal.

When Bev arrived, she found them all sitting on Richie’s bed talking calmly. Even Richie was calm, which was unusual. She carefully didn’t comment, though. She could guess exactly what they were talking about, since their voices had cut off as soon as she’d knocked, and they hadn’t gone back to talking once she was in the room. Mike and Bill were sitting in awkward silence, unsure of how much they could say, while Stan caught her eyes and rolled his exaggeratedly. She grinned.

“So, I’m guessing Richie finally told you guys,” she stated calmly. Richie glared at her playfully, but didn’t deny it. “Good. Now Stan and I will have other people to talk to about it!”

“And with any luck, there won’t be anything to talk about after tomorrow,” Stan said dryly. Bev nodded in agreement. “He’s already halfway there. Did he tell you that he talked to Eddie the other day?”

“He did _not_ ,” Bev gasped, turning her wide eyes to an embarrassed Richie. “You did _not_!”

“I did,” Richie confirmed.

“Neither of them said a word to me!” Bev told Stan, crossing her arms. “Thank god for you, Stan. Apparently I’d just be permanently out of the loop if not for you.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Richie teased, standing up to hug her. She returned the hug, resting her cheek on his shoulder as she held on tightly. She’d missed all of them, but she’d missed Richie the most. It wasn’t the same to just talk over the phone.

“Shall we get you back to my place? You’ve got to stay tonight to help me set up, but I’ll bring you back here in the morning so you can get ready,” she told him. He nodded, walking over to his bag to grab a change of clothes and toiletries. She didn’t miss that all three of the others reached out to give him some form of reassurance, which he accepted gratefully.

“Alright, let’s get to it! I can’t wait to see Haystack,” Richie told her, slinging his arm through hers. “You’re sure he won’t be too mad?”

“We both know he can’t stay mad at you. And I don’t think he’ll be mad at all. He’s been talking about missing all of you. So, we’ll see you guys tomorrow! Be ready, okay? I’m coming to pick you up at eleven, and Eddie will be at my place around one. But he’s always early, so count on noon,” Bev replied. She gave them all a wink before the door was closed between them. Then she led the way down to her car.

She let Richie fiddle with the radio for a while before reaching over to turn the music down and start a conversation. “So, you told all of them?”

“Yeah. I mean… it’s been decades, Bev. You’ve always told me I should give them the chance to react the right way, and I’m just… I’m so tired of hiding. I was thinking about coming out to the world, but I’ve got to do it for you guys, first. If I can’t even do that, how could I expect to face my fans?” he replied.

“And you’ll tell Ben, right?” she pressed. He glanced over at her with a small smiled, amused.

“Probably as soon as I see him, yeah. I’m not hiding it anymore. I’ve got no reason to, now that Eds knows,” Richie told her. “And that… that wasn’t even on purpose. It just kinda slipped out while we were talking on the phone. If I could do that, maybe I can tell him how I feel.”

“I’m so proud of you,” she told him softly. “I knew you were brave enough to do it. You just had to figure it out for yourself.”

“Yeah, well… here we are,” Richie laughed softly. “Decades late, but better late than never. Right?”

“Right,” she assured him as she pulled into her garage. Bev and Ben’s house was massive. Between the two of them and their successful businesses, they were pretty loaded. Bev was proud of the home that Ben had designed and built for them, and she was so glad that the others would finally get to see it. She loved showing it off. “Ben is waiting for me to get back so we can eat. I made sure there’s enough for you, too, but he doesn’t know you’re coming at all.”

“Great. I can’t wait to shock him!” Richie grinned. “I just hope it’s a happy surprise.”

“It will be. As if Ben could be anything other than happy to see any of us,” Bev assured him. “We really have been talking about going to another of your shows in a couple months. We’ve already started moving meetings around for it. I just hadn’t reached out yet.”

“I’m telling you, you’ve just gotta show up. You don’t even have to warn me. Your names are all on the VIP list, and most of my people know you by sight. You’re famous, remember?” Richie told her. She leaned across the console to hug him, grinning.

“I’ll keep that in mind. But I’m pretty sure we’ll always at least give you warning before we show up. How else will we make plans for afterwards?” she reminded him.

“Uh, I literally have no life without you guys. I’m always free,” he told her. She couldn’t tell if he was serious or not, so she let it go. Instead, she let him inside the house and led the way to the kitchen.

“Ben? I picked something up on my way home, I hope you don’t mind!” she called, mostly to locate him. He responded immediately from the sitting room.

“We already have food, what could you possibly have gotten?” he sounded exasperated, but lovingly so. Richie was still grinning about it when they rounded the corner and came into view. Ben dropped the book he’d been holding in his shock. “Holy shit! Richie!”

Richie was subjected to his thousandth hug of the day, and he returned it just as eagerly as he’d returned the others. “Hey, Haystack. Sorry to barge in on you like this, but I just couldn’t wait to see you,” he told the other man. Ben hadn’t stopped smiling since he’d caught sight of them.

“What? Oh, don’t even worry about it. You’re always welcome here, you have to know that. You and all the other Losers,” Ben replied.

“Funny you should say that,” Richie started, trying his hardest not to start laughing. “Because we all just so happened to be in town, and we were hoping to drop in tomorrow for lunch.”

Ben had always been smart, and they could see the exact moment he connected the dots. “Eddie’s birthday lunch. How long have you guys been planning this?”

“Remember last month when I told you I got Eddie a present, but I wouldn’t tell you what it was?” Bev asked, resting her head on her husband’s shoulder. “This would be that present.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ben asked. She gave him a fond look, pressing a kiss to his cheek that had him blushing as if it wasn’t a frequent occurrence at this point in his life.

“Because you’ve already told Eddie what you got him, and I needed this to be a surprise. This is important,” Bev told him softly. “This is going to be Eddie’s best birthday _ever_.”

“Hey, I never said I was doing it tomorrow,” Richie protested. The expression on Ben’s face went from bewildered to understanding in the span of seconds, and Richie sighed. Of course they’d all known. He’d promised Bev, though, so… “By the way, Ben, I’m gay and in love with Eddie.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Ben told him seriously. There was a second hug, which Richie had already resigned himself to, and then another hug with Bev.

“If you all hug me this much tomorrow, I’m not going to tell you whether I’ve done it or not,” he threatened. It was an empty threat and they all knew it. Bev patted his cheek with a smirk. “Shut up. I won’t.”

“Sure you won’t, Sweetie,” she replied.

“I won’t,” he grumbled, but he didn’t even try to make it seem like he meant it. They all knew him too well for that.

Bev found him sitting on their back porch an hour after they’d all said goodnight. Neither of them said a word as she took the seat beside him. Richie wordlessly handed her his cigarette pack and a lighter, and she carefully picked one and lit it. They smoked together in silence for a few minutes before either of them bothered to speak. When Richie pulled out another cigarette, Bev let out a soft sigh.

“You know, I don’t think I ever told you about my childhood crush,” she said softly, exhaling a lungful of smoke.

“We all knew it was Bill,” Richie told her gently. She shook her head, smiling slightly.

“No, it wasn’t. I let everyone think that, though. It was easier that way. I even kissed him, before I moved away with my aunt. But the truth was, there was a boy who’d written me a poem on a postcard who I fell in love with before I’d ever really met him,” she confided. Richie stayed quiet, letting that sink in. “It was anonymous. I initially thought it’d been Bill, and I was ready to like him for it. But I found out just a day after I received the poem that he didn’t know anything about it. And since the only boys who bothered to talk to me were the six of you…”

“Did you ever figure it out? Back then, I mean,” Richie asked, glancing over at her. She was still smiling calmly.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I spent a few days trying to imagine each of you writing it. I knew it wasn’t Eddie, because he’s not exactly poetic. I would have thought it was you, except even back then you only had eyes for Eddie. Mike didn’t seem like the type to write poetry, either. That just left Stan and Ben.”

“Oh god. Did you think it was Stan?” Richie asked, choking on the smoke he’d inhaled as he struggled not to laugh. Bev was grinning now.

“I spent three days trying to get closer to Stanley, to decide for myself if he’d written it or not. But every time I tried to spend time with him, he’d make up excuses for other places he needed to be. Or he’d make sure that Bill was with us, and that made it hard to get to know _Stan_ at all. And that’s how I knew it couldn’t have been him,” she admitted.

“So you knew, even back then, that Ben was in love with you,” Richie concluded. Bev nodded. “But you started this with saying you never told me about _your_ crush.”

“Right. I fell in love with the boy who wrote me that poem, and decades later, I married him,” Bev confirmed. “I still to this day have not told him that I knew he wrote the poem when we were kids. He gets so embarrassed when I talk about it at all, even though I very clearly love it.”

“I’ve always thought that he was the best of us,” Richie mused.

“Oh, he is. There’s no doubt of that. Do you remember when he kissed me to save me from the deadlights? It’s a very faded memory for me, since I wasn’t fully… awake for it, but that was the moment I just _knew_ we were meant to be together. It took a while for that memory to come back once we went back to Derry,” she told him. “I actually kissed Bill at the hotel before I figured it out, because I could remember liking him before I remembered loving Ben.”

“Oh god. Does Ben know about that?” Richie asked. They’d finished their cigarettes by now, but neither of them were in a hurry to go back inside.

“Yes. When we left Derry together, we both talked about things the other should know. He told me about his trouble with alcohol, and I told him about my abusive ex-husband and my kiss with Bill. We’ve worked through our issues, and that’s why we work so well together,” Bev confirmed.

“Why are you telling me this?” Richie asked softly.

“Because you’ve been completely honest with me our whole lives, and I felt it was time I returned the favor. Also because I’m hoping it’ll inspire you to make the right decision tomorrow,” she told him. She leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek before she went back inside, leaving him to his thoughts.

Richie woke up extra early the next morning and immediately picked up his phone to text Eddie. He didn’t expect him to be awake, of course, but he wanted him to wake up with something to smile about.

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (7:24am)_

_Happy Birthday, Eds!!!!!!_

With that done, he got up to get dressed and go make coffee. Bev had told him the night before to treat their place as his own, and the least he could do was make sure they all got their morning coffee to make it through the day. Of course, Ben had beaten him to it.

“Good morning, Richie,” Ben greeted, already holding out the perfect mug of coffee. Richie accepted it with a grateful smile. He didn’t speak until he’d had his first drink.

“Morning, Haystack. How long have you been up?” he asked, leaning against the counter. Ben was mixing what looked like pancake batter.

“An hour or so. I’ve been texting with Stan,” Ben told him. “He’s making sure the others are up and ready on time. I guess he’s used to being up early for his job. The other two make their own hours, so neither of us were sure they’d be able to get up on their own.”

“I’m surprised you weren’t all worried about me waking up on time,” Richie said without thinking. Ben gave him an amused smile.

“On Eddie’s birthday, with what we have planned? Bev and I had a bet on whether you’d get any sleep at all. There are no bags under your eyes, so I’m guessing I won,” Ben replied gently.

“Yeah, you did. I had an early alarm so I could text Eddie a ‘happy birthday’, and I didn’t want to try to go back to sleep,” Richie admitted. “Bev is still sleeping?”

“Nah, she got up the same time as me. She’s on a conference call that she couldn’t avoid today, and then she’ll be down. Half an hour, tops. That’s why I’m making breakfast,” he replied easily. Richie was about to answer when his phone vibrated.

_To: Trashmouth (8:07am)_

_Thanks, Rich. Why the fuck are you up so early?_

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (8:07am)_

_Bold of you to assume that I’ve slept at all._

_To: Trashmouth (8:10am)_

_Please tell me you’re joking._

_To: Eddie Spaghetti (8:11am)_

_Relax, I slept a little. I just wanted to give you something good to wake up to today._

_To: Trashmouth (8:14am)_

_Thank you. I appreciate it more than you know._

Ben was staring at him when he looked up from his phone, but Richie refused to be embarrassed. “Eddie is awake,” he said, though it was unnecessary. There was no chance Ben didn’t know exactly who he’d been texting. He knew he was smiling too much to even try to lie.

“Yeah… he’s usually up early for work, too. Bev had to practically beg to get him to take today and tomorrow off. He says he hates his job but loves the distraction it provides,” Ben replied.

That sounded so much like Eddie that Richie wasn’t surprised in the slightest. “He’ll be glad he took the days off, I hope. He’s been talking about wanting to visit in person,” Richie said softly. “I just hope he isn’t disappointed.”

“Why would he be disappointed?” Ben asked, giving Richie a confused look. Richie took a moment to think his words through before he replied.

“I told Eddie a couple days ago that I’m gay, but I didn’t mention any feelings at all. And when he told me he wanted to talk in person, it was because there were things he wanted to tell me, too. I just hope that he’s not mad that I’m here because of that conversation. I know we’ve been planning this for weeks, but Eds doesn’t know that. He’s going to think that I hopped on a plane just to have that conversation with him, and I can’t imagine that me telling him how much I love him is going to help,” he answered after a little bit.

“Okay, first of all, you didn’t just hop on a plane to have that talk with him. And he isn’t going to think that, because you’re not the only one here. All of the Losers are in on this. And secondly… he said he has things to tell you in person?” Ben asked, turning to give Richie his full attention. Richie nodded, and Ben visibly held himself back from saying whatever it was that went through his head. “Richie, you need to have that conversation with him. After the lunch we’ve got planned, Bev and I will distract the others so you can sneak him up to the guest room.”

“I don’t think it’ll need to be much of a distraction. We all want you to be happy,” Bev told them, walking in to kiss Ben and pour her own coffee. “Just promise me you’ll use protection, okay? Grab your whole bag when we go back to the hotel.”

“You…” Riche shook his head fondly. “I love you guys, you know that?”

“We love you, too,” Bev assured him. “Now, let’s get you ready!”

Bill, Stan, and Mike were waiting for them at the hotel. It took Richie less than ten minutes to go up and grab his bag, then come down and officially check out of his room. He wasn’t sure why he’d bothered booking it in the first place; he should have known that Bev was just going to kidnap him. Based on the knowing looks the others all shared, they’d all guessed it, too. Bev didn’t stop talking the whole way to her car, babbling as much as Richie usually did about anything and everything. Richie knew without having to ask that she was starting to be nervous about how Eddie was going to react to this party.

“So, how is everything going with the plan?” Stan asked, settling into his seat in her vehicle. She glanced over her shoulder at him with a grateful smile.

“Ben is home cooking, so food is covered. Richie and I spent a few hours last night making a fancy banner to hang in the dining room, and we weren’t really sure what else to decorate. We’re pretty much set. Ben is so excited to see all of you!” she answered.

“He wasn’t upset at all, so no worries there,” Richie added.

“Gee, I wonder who could have known that,” Mike replied with a grin. He’d told them all from the beginning that Ben would be more excited than anything else.

“Yeah, yeah. Rub it in, why don’t you?” Bill grinned, reaching across Stan to shove at Mike’s shoulder.

“Children, I will turn this car around!” Bev giggled as she weaved through the heavy New York traffic. It wouldn’t have been possible even if she’d been serious, and they all knew it.

“Yes, Mom,” Richie grinned, turning to stick his tongue out at Mike, who was laughing too hard to form a reply. “But in all seriousness, can I ask you guys for a favor?”

“Yeah, sure, Rich,” Bill replied easily. “What’s up?”

“After lunch, I’m going to drag Eddie away to talk. I need you guys to act like nothing happened when we come back, okay? I promise to fill you all in once today is over with. I just need that little extra time,” he told them. Bev glanced over at him, smiling encouragingly.

“Of course! As if we’d ruin this for you,” Stan assured him. “We’ve all been waiting as long as you have. We can wait a little longer.”

“You’ve got this, Richie,” Mike added. “Get your man.”

“You guys are ridiculous,” Richie grinned. “Thanks.”

“Any time, man,” Bill told him.

Ben was just as excited to see the rest of the Losers as he’d been to see Richie the night before. There were lots of hugs, a few tears, and all kinds of laughter. Richie and Bev stood back and watched it all with satisfied smiles. They’d made the right call, planning this reunion.

“You know, if all goes well with you and Eddie, we should work towards Bill and Stan,” Bev told him softly, making sure they wouldn’t be overheard. Richie looked over at her fondly.

“You’re going to take credit for this if it goes well, aren’t you?” he asked instead of answering. Without being sure that Stan had said anything to Bev, he wasn’t going to give his best friend away like that. Bev seemed to understand… or at the very least, she didn’t point out that he’d already confirmed Stan’s feelings for her.

“I helped plan this and have been pushing you towards confessing for _decades_. I get _at least_ partial credit,” she pointed out.

“Yes ma’am,” Richie agreed, laughing. It drew the attention of Stan, because of course it did.

“What are you over here laughing about?” he asked, stopping in front of Richie and Bev suspiciously.

“My partial credit for getting Richie and Eddie together,” Bev replied easily, leaving Richie spluttering. “I’ll share with you, of course. You’ve been dealing with it for just as long.”

“I want in,” Bill added, coming to a stop beside Stan.

“You haven’t been involved for years!” Richie protested, earning an odd look from Bill that he didn’t know how to read. “I don’t even want Bev and Stan to have credit. If it happens, it’ll be because _I_ did it, not them!”

“I beg to differ,” Bev laughed. “You never would have said a word at all if not for me and Stan!”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Ben joined, wrapping an arm around Bev as he came to a stop beside her. “Richie would have spoken up eventually. He’s not hopeless.”

“Not completely,” Mike agreed. “Give him some credit.”

“We’ve established that we all get partial credit,” Bev pointed out, much to everyone’s amusement. “Really, even Eddie. We’ve got to give him credit, too.”

“So we’re splitting the credit seven ways?” Bill asked, grinning.

“Yes!” Bev confirmed, speaking over Richie’s sharp, “No!”

“Guys, Eddie could be here any minute now. Let’s get to the dining room so he won’t immediately see you and know what’s going on. Bev is going to stay with you guys, and I’m going to let him in when he gets here,” Ben said, changing the subject for a grateful Richie.

“Uh, are you sure that’s wise?” Bev asked him gently. “You’re so excited for this, I’m worried you’ll give it away too soon.”

“That’s… okay, so I’ll be staying with you guys while Bev lets him in,” Ben corrected, not even slightly embarrassed. “I will admit that I’m really looking forward to his reaction.”

“We all are,” Mike assured him. “You’re not alone in that.”

“I wouldn’t even volunteer to do it, except it has to be one of us. It’ll be fine. A couple minutes tops until we’re in here and he’s losing his shit over everybody coming to see him for his birthday,” Bev added.

“I hope you meant that in a good way,” Richie teased, grinning.

“Of course I did,” she assured him, seeing right through his nerves. “He’s going to be so excited, Richie. He’s been moping for weeks.”

“Moping? Why?” Stan asked, though his tone of voice said he already knew. Bev gave him an exasperated look.

“Gee, I don’t know. It couldn’t be that he’s been missing anyone,” she shot back in exactly the same tone. “Now, places! I’m going to go wait for him.”

Not even ten minutes after Bev went to wait, the knock came. She took a deep breath and counted to ten before releasing it, then went to open the door. “Eddie! I’m so glad you came. Ben and I weren’t sure if you’d actually taken the days off like we said.”

“Of course I did,” Eddie told her, leaning into the hug she gave him. “I wouldn’t lie to you about something like that.”

“I know, honey. Call it past disappointment and we’ll leave it at that,” she said lightly, taking his jacket and hanging it by the door. “We’ve got the food set up in the dining room. I think Ben was just putting the finishing touches on when I came to get the door.”

Somehow, she’d managed to keep her voice even and calm, and she wasn’t bouncing the way she really wanted to. She led the way calmly to the dining room, even managing to resist the urge to keep glancing back at him. She had to stay casual, or she was going to give everything away. As it was, they barely made it to the dining room before she turned back to him. “Happy Birthday, Eddie!”

“Uh, thanks?” Eddie asked, shoving his phone back into his pocket as he gave her a distracted smile. Bev heard a ‘ping’ behind the dining room door and knew immediately that he must have texted Richie. She rolled her eyes fondly and shoved the door open, revealing the room full of Losers. “Wha-“

“Happy birthday!” They all shouted together. Richie threw his hands into the air exaggeratedly, making Ben and Stan chuckle behind him. Bev shook her head fondly before turning back to see Eddie’s stunned expression.

“You guys… you all came for my birthday?” he sounded breathless with surprise, and his eyes were wider than she’d ever seen them before. He definitely hadn’t been expecting this. “Uh… Richie, disregard the text, I guess.”

“Sure thing, Eds,” Richie told him fondly. “Of course we came for your birthday! I- we all wanted to see you!”

“We’re all here for a few days. Call it a Losers Club reunion- this time without added trauma,” Stan added. “It was all Richie and Bev’s doing.”

“Eh, we planned it, but everyone contributed,” Bev shrugged. “We knew you’ve been missing everyone, and we thought if nothing else, we could fix that for a few days.”

“Thanks, you guys,” Eddie told them, grinning. “It’s so good to see all of you!”

Eddie made the rounds, giving everyone a hug and stopping to talk for a little bit before moving down the line. He spent a few extra minutes with Bill, talking quietly with their heads together, before he finally stopped in front of Richie. Their hug was marginally longer than the others had been, not that Richie was keeping track or anything. He held Eddie tightly, not wanting to let go. For once, Eddie didn’t complain.

“Thank you for doing this,” he told Richie as he took a small step back. “It means a lot. I really just expected to spend today alone with my thoughts.”

“You know, even if nobody else had agreed to come, I was always going to fly out here for your birthday. The only thing that ever stopped me in the past was our clown-induced memory loss. You can expect to see me for all major holidays or days of celebration, as long as it’s something you’d like,” Richie told him. He was completely serious.

“I would definitely like that,” Eddie told him, smiling softly. “Hey, can we talk? Maybe go to the sitting room or something? There are a few things I’ve been wanting to talk to you about, and I’d rather do it now, while you’re here.”

“I was going to drag you upstairs to talk after lunch,” Richie told him, smiling back. “But we can sneak off now if you’d rather. There was something I wanted to say, too.”

“Didn’t you already tell me your big thing?” Eddie asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Sure, I told you one of them. Arguably the biggest by far. But there was something I’d… well, it’s something you should probably know,” Richie replied. He shrugged helplessly. He was very aware of both Bev’s and Stan’s eyes on his back right now, and Mike was standing close enough to hear most of what was being said.

“Let’s… let’s go upstairs, then,” Eddie agreed, suddenly sounding very nervous. Richie glanced over his shoulder at Bev, who gave him two thumbs-up and an encouraging smile. The smile was identical to Stan’s, who was standing beside her. So, without really thinking about it, Richie grabbed Eddie’s hand and led him from the room.

The walk up the stairs was silent, and they were both breathing heavier than they should have been, all things considered. Richie knew exactly why he was so nervous, but he could not, for the life of him, figure out what had Eddie so worked up. Unless he’d somehow guessed what Richie wanted to say, and was thinking of ways to let him down gently. That’s it, he couldn’t do this! He wouldn’t risk losing Eddie over something as stupid as feelings. But if he didn’t do it, he knew very well that Bev and Stan would do it for him, and that would be worse. If he was going to lose Eddie, it was going to be because of something he did, himself. With that thought in mind, he led Eddie into the guest room he’d claimed and closed the door behind them.

He immediately found his back pressed against the closed door as Eddie kissed him. He’d just wrapped his head around what was happening and started to reciprocate when Eddie pulled away as if he’d been burned. He took several steps back and started to hyperventilate, scrabbling in his pocket for the inhaler that they both knew he didn’t really need, and therefore did not have with him. For once, Richie was also unprepared. He hadn’t bothered to pack the back-up he usually carried with him when he knew he’d be seeing Eddie.

“Eddie-“ Richie started, taking a few steps towards him. Eddie immediately backed away again, holding up his hands as he got his breathing under control without the inhaler.

“I need you to let me talk,” Eddie begged. Richie nodded helplessly. “When we were down in that cave, and I thought I was dying, I wanted more than anything to tell you how much you meant to me. I didn’t manage to do it in time. And then when I woke up in the hospital, and you were there, and I almost managed to say it. But you were so tired, and you just looked so… defeated. I sent you to the hotel to shower and sleep instead. Remember?” Richie nodded, his eyes helplessly wide. “And I just kept thinking to myself that if I said anything, it would ruin our friendship. So I went back to Myra, and I tried to pretend that everything was okay. And one day, she was fussing over me and begging me to see a doctor about my scar, and I just… I snapped.

“All I could think was that you’d told me ‘chicks dig scars’, and you never once looked at me like I was different, or… or less, because of it. And Myra couldn’t even _look_ at my face anymore because of it. So I told her I was leaving, and I packed a bag, and I never looked back. My divorce finalizes next week. But as soon as I’d checked into a hotel, my mind immediately went back to you. Because now nothing was holding me back except for myself. Well… and the fact that I thought you were straight and definitely not interested in a tiny, overly anxious hypochondriac man.

“And then you told me you were gay, and I no longer had any excuse. You told me I’m braver than I think, and it was true back in Derry, so why shouldn’t it be true now? And I’m sorry that I just… jumped you, but if I didn’t do _something_ , I wouldn’t have done anything,” Eddie finished, taking a moment to catch his breath while Richie stared at him.

“So you…” Richie trailed off, trying to catch up with the whirlwind confession he was just given. Eddie rolled his eyes fondly.

“I am gay and very much in love with you,” Eddie told him simply, crossing his arms. It was almost an echo of what he’d told the others just last night, and Richie wanted to laugh or cry or… he didn’t know. He was overwhelmed with very strong emotions.

“Eds,” Richie whispered, starting towards him again. This time, Eddie didn’t move away. This kiss was much longer, since they were both active, enthusiastic participants. When they broke apart, they didn’t go far. They simply rested their foreheads together. “I’ve loved you since I knew what love was,” Richie confessed softly. “It’s always been you. There’s never been anyone else, and there never will be.”

Eddie kissed him again, more desperately this time. They were clinging to each other, unwilling to separate. When they broke the kiss, Eddie reached up to gently wipe a tear from Richie’s cheek. Richie took the time to compose himself and think of what he wanted to say.

“I carved our names into the kissing bridge,” is what he came up with. It was too late to take it back, so he just rolled with it. “That summer, when we were all fighting and you weren’t allowed to hang out with me, I spent a lot of time alone. I carved our initials into the bridge, and then I avoided it like the plague. I was so scared someone was going to find it and just know. But then when you were in the hospital… that same day you sent me away to rest, I went back and fixed it. It just seemed like the thing to do.”

“We’ve been pretty stupid about this,” Eddie laughed softly, meeting Richie’s eyes. “Dancing around each other when we could have been doing this the whole time.” There was another soft kiss following his statement, which Richie melted into.

“We made it here, and that’s what matters,” Richie answered after a few extra seconds. “We don’t have to dance around it anymore. I love you, and I want to be with you.”

“I love you, too,” Eddie told him. “We’ve got a lot of shit to figure out.”

“Good thing I’m here for a few days, then,” Richie replied, grinning. “We’ve got some time to work shit out, and hopefully do more of this.” It was punctuated by yet another kiss, which would have gone on for longer had there not been a knock on the door.

“Sorry to interrupt, but we’re all starving down there and Ben won’t let us eat until Eddie comes back!” Bev called through the door, sounding exasperated. Richie would have been willing to bet that she’d been forced to come up because it was her house, not because she chose to.

“Damn it, Bev,” Richie groaned, never stepping away from Eddie. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man again, holding him close. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” Eddie said softly, smiling. Then he raised his voice to reply to Bev. “We’ll be right down! Tell Ben he really doesn’t have to wait if everyone is hungry.”

“Yeah, like that’ll work. You’ve got five more minutes before I come back, and next time I’m not going to knock,” she called back, sounding fond despite her exasperation.

“Yeah, yeah,” Richie rolled his eyes. They both waited to hear her walk away before breaking down into laughter. “She could not have had worse timing.”

“She could have,” Eddie pointed out. “She could have come up in the middle of me kissing you the first time, or while I was ranting out my confession. Or she could have stopped us from coming up here at all.”

“Do you think we can pull off pretending that nothing happened?” Richie asked, finally taking a few steps away from Eddie. He was too busy straightening his clothes to see the hurt look Eddie gave him.

“Did you not want anyone to know?” Eddie asked, his voice small. Richie’s head snapped up when he heard it, and he immediately reached out for Eddie’s hands to reassure him.

“God no, that’s not what I meant at all. They all knew I was going to tell you how I feel today, and I don’t want to deal with them being smug bastards about it until I absolutely have to,” Richie explained quickly. Eddie rolled his eyes fondly.

“You told all of them before you told me?” Eddie asked, amused. Richie nodded, pink beginning to spread across his cheeks. “Of course you did. You don’t ever do things the easy way. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been discussing it with Bill since the day I woke up in the hospital. We have almost daily talks.”

“Oh my god, that explains why he was arguing for partial credit! And I bet Bev knew the whole time. That bitch,” he laughed. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“They were fighting over credit of us getting together? Of course they were. Bill gets _zero_ credit. Our talks were mutual,” Eddie muttered.

“Does he ever talk to you about Stanley?” Richie asked, distracted by the sudden thought. Eddie gave him a strange look, but nodded after a few seconds. “I knew it! I knew it wasn’t just Stan. Now if only he’d listen to me.”

“I think neither of us has any room to talk, there,” Eddie pointed out lightly. “It took us how many years to get to this point?”

Richie pressed a sweet kiss to Eddie’s lips before answering. “Stan has been pining _at least_ as long as I have,” he informed Eddie. “I got him to actually tell me about it when we got drunk for Bev’s seventeenth birthday, but I’ve always known about it. Remember that night?”

“I remember you and Stan disappearing for two hours, and Bill finding you guys out in the yard staring at the stars and talking about how much they were moving around. Do you know what you were actually looking at?” Eddie shot back. Richie had the grace to look embarrassed. “You were looking at fireflies, Richie. I have never seen Bill as fed up as he was that night.”

“In our defense, we were both pining assholes who thought we didn’t have a chance in hell at being with who we wanted. It’s kinda surprising he and I didn’t end up together, to be honest,” Richie mused.

“Do you regret that?” Eddie asked dryly. Richie laughed.

“God no. We would have killed each other, and I never would have gotten to kiss my Eds,” he replied quickly. Eddie gave him a thoughtful look.

“Is that what you meant last night, about me being your Eds?” he said quietly. “I couldn’t figure it out. Like… that’s just my name, not a title.”

“Firstly, I’m surprised you haven’t yelled at me for calling you Eds. Secondly, the full title is _My_ Eds,” Richie informed him. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Well… I _am_ yours,” Eddie told him sweetly. He ignored the ‘Eds’ comment completely. “Now, let’s get downstairs before Bev drags us down by our ears.”

As it turned out, Bev met them on the stairs. She’d been on her way up, and was satisfied to lead the way back to the dining room in silence. Though they weren’t holding hands or anything, all of the Losers burst into laughter (or applause, in the case of Stan and Mike) when they entered the room. Richie rolled his eyes fondly as Eddie simply blushed and pointedly avoided all of their eyes. The questions didn’t start until they’d sat down to eat.

“So? Who confessed to who?” Bill asked eagerly, ignoring his full plate completely. Eddie was very clearly not going to answer any questions, so Richie decided he had creative freedom.

“It was all very dramatic,” he started, grinning. “I got down on one knee and everything, begging for the heart of my dearest Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Bullshit,” Eddie snorted. “That’s not what happened _at all_.”

“Well, however it happened, we’re happy for you,” Ben told them, grinning. “It wasn’t fun to watch you guys stare at each other hopelessly while the other wasn’t looking.”

“You have _no_ room to talk, Ben,” Eddie pointed out, not unkindly. “How long did you love Bev before you told her?”

“We’re not talking about Ben and I,” Bev pointed out. “We’re talking about the two of you. And he was right, it was hard to watch. Do you know how often I had to listen to Richie rant about your eyes and your ass and how cute you always look over the phone when Stan hung up on him? Almost every day!”

“Wha- it was not!” Richie protested. It was his turn to blush and not meet anyone’s eyes.

“It was every single day,” Stan confirmed. “He was constantly talking about how in love he was but he swore that he could never do anything about it. I’m glad he finally grew some balls.”

“He didn’t,” Eddie said calmly, as though he hadn’t dropped a massive bomb and destroyed the last of Richie’s pride.

“He… he didn’t confess?” Bill asked, confused. “But then… what happened?”

“I kissed him,” Eddie told them, smirking to himself. “And then I told him about how _I_ felt while he stared at me like an idiot. It took him a while to get with the program.”

“To be honest… that tracks,” Bev snorted, digging her fork into her food finally. Once Bev started to eat, the conversation trailed off. They were all happy to give the two a break. There was a silent understanding that the teasing would start back up later, once they’d had a chance to enjoy their new relationship. It wasn’t until the dishes were being carried into the kitchen that Bev pulled Richie aside to give him a hug and speak with him privately.

“Even if you weren’t the first to say it, I’m proud of you for being brave enough to take him upstairs to begin with. I believe you would have done it, if he hadn’t beaten you to it,” she told him softly as she hugged him.

“Yeah, well, I’ve always said that Eddie is the strongest person I’ve ever known. He was strong enough to survive his mother, his ex-wife, and a murderous space clown… of course he was strong enough to confess his love first. God, Bev, I love him so much. I can’t believe I get to have him,” Richie replied. She kindly did not point out the tears in his eyes.

“You deserve to be happy, sweetie. I’m so happy for you,” she told him, grinning. “And you know, you’re strong, too. Keep that in mind going forward.”

“Thank you,” he told her, meaning far more than just for the compliment. She seemed to understand, if her smile was any indication.

“God, our phone calls are going to be a different kind of annoying now, aren’t they?” she sighed, pretending to be annoyed. “You’re going to spend the whole time going on about how much you love your perfect boyfriend instead of how much you wish he was yours. I regret everything.”

“No you don’t,” he laughed.

“No, I don’t,” she agreed, watching with Richie as Eddie was hugged by a grinning Bill and Mike. She’d never seen her boys so happy, and it made her feel content in her very soul. She gave Richie one last hug before letting him go back to Eddie. She caught Ben’s eye across the room, and he was smiling, too. Everything was as it should be.

**Author's Note:**

> There will almost definitely be a second part eventually, featuring Stenbrough, because I'm not going to be able to resist.


End file.
